“Away from the stress and fast pace of our daily lives, instead of looking at this situation as an inconvenience, We must take advantage of it as an opportunity that is given to us to search for ourselves”, Those who know about these things said in an article in a digital magazine, as advice to cope with the confinement. And I stuck to that plan. And I was so conscientious in the task that, in the end, I found myself. and what I saw, sincerely, I didn't like it at all.
And it is that, Of course, The biggest problem you have with spending so much time with yourself is that one day there may come, after thinking about the problem many times trying to avoid you, when you discover that you are a real idiot. There are many things about myself that I have recently discovered that I cannot stand.. I don't like forgetting to clean the bathtub after taking a shower., I leave everything frankly disgusting. I don't do it on purpose, I already know, nor do I expect anyone to clean it for me, but it is an intolerable mania and, above all, very unhygienic, that I could very well eliminate from my habits if I made a little effort. I also don't like this habit of leaving books I don't like halfway.. It seems to me a lack of respect towards the author to whom, no matter how bad the work is, It took him a long time, years maybe, pergeñarla. Besides, What do I know about these things to judge the work of others in such a harsh way?? Would I have done better, chance? when you open a book, just like when you pay for a movie ticket, you are signing a contract and, in this society we live in, no one breaks their contracts, under penalty of being reported to the law (Something I might do with myself when this is all over.).
I don't like the careless way I have of abandoning the clothes I've been wearing for days in the middle of the room or, after washing it, how badly I organize it in the closet drawers without even giving it a light shake (of the iron, we don't even talk). I don't like, it irritates me a lot, How do I put my feet on the table when I'm watching TV?. Don't shake my feet, when I get home, on the doormat (although it is true that now I go out little, I have also noticed that; That's what it's like to look at yourself all day long.). I don't like, I despise it, that impertinent habit of scratching my ears when something makes me a little nervous. Or that other custom, also very unpleasant, of digging between my toes (although it relaxes me a lot, yes I am sincere, I don't know why I do it). I don't like, I find it intolerable, eat without chewing, sip the soup, speak loudly when I know it is not necessary or, If someone calls me out on it, speak even louder. I don't like that I don't like that they contradict me. depend on others. Ask me a favor, even if I have to. I don't like, i hate it, praise your neighbor and, on the contrary, I love being flattered, feel relevant and, yes I think about it, look at people over your shoulder (This is something I do without thinking., but it comes out like this).
But perhaps what bothers me most about myself, what really irritates me, oh really, It seems like I have an opinion on almost everything.. In this sense, I must announce, with great guilt, that there is no topic of debate that resists me. No matter the subject matter, whether science (although, if I remember, I was never very good at this), music, paint, books or economics, it doesn't matter. Although deep down I know that I don't know many things, I always have a well-formed judgment that, besides, I expose with absolute determination. When I present an idea, and this is the most relevant, I don't usually ever back down and if someone proves me wrong, I have a strategy that is infallible to me: deny that I said what I said and rectify as I go. So, and taking advantage of the bad memory that people usually have, I always come out victorious in all discussions. I have realized that I really like to listen to myself., thing that, I swear, until now I didn't know what I was doing. And if the other (or the others) They resist my arguments, I have a certain ability to, at the right time, drop a humiliating joke that leaves them in their place with hardly any time to hit back. I know, I have also realized, that many people have this ego problem today, I'm not that original. But now that I see myself from the outside, I have realized that, on these issues, I am a very outstanding teacher. In the end, I'm an unbearable guy.
I have been meditating on it and, after evaluating it very calmly these days of confinement, I have told myself that, when this whole virus thing is over, I must change a little. Of course, well looked at, I could start right now, if I wanted. But I don't feel like it. Chico, really, how disgusting I feel. GERARDO LEON
